Won't Find It In Me

by Jennifer K. Jones, SUNY Cortland, April 15, 2008

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Closing the door on my final
night in the chilly house.
Hoping to God he'll just go to
sleep, hoping he won't wake
my slumbering guests while
he stumbles about without care.

Dimming the light in the memory
filled hallway, hoping all will get better.
Then, here she comes through my
door, crushing all my hopes.

She is trapped in her own device,
she's a lost child on a cold dark night.
Looking for understanding, but she
will find none in me, for I have walked
this dark night before, and choose not
to return.

She sees not the error of his ways,
he has tamed her with his false
promises. Promises made only for his
convenience; a place to stay, a woman
to use, and children to pit against her.

He is not the only shady figure
in this chilling tale, for she has
led a facade as well many years before.
That once cheerful Christmas season where
an enraged bastard crossed the line, left
a terrified child wishing to die.

The loss of trust and faith has made this
house cold. I feel the reaper creeping down
the creery framed walls. I hope the light
will come soon.

For her, the light will seek what will
she has left to fight the demons that follow.
If not, the darkness will keep creeping
closer, and she will be left alone, for she
will not find faith in me.

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