National Get-Over-Your-Ex-Day (is any day)
by Korrie Olszewski, http://neovox.cortland.edu, March 3, 2011
Valentine's Day can be a miserable occasion for many people. All the talk of being in love can cause memories of past relationships to resurface, bringing negative and regretful feelings along with it. This Valentine's day (or any Valentine's Day for that matter), wouldn't it be great to let go of those feelings and focus on the positive things in your life right now? That is why I'm declaring the day before Valentine's Day as National Get-Over-Your-Ex Day. Regardless of how long you have been apart, this is the day to free yourself once and for all. Carrying around pain or expectations from relationships that no longer exist is only bringing you down. Remember, an ex is an ex for a reason. Be in love this Valentine's Day, be in love with yourself!
Step One: Ex-Detox. This step will enable YOU to be your main focus. Begin the total detox by getting rid of the things that remind you of your past relationship. Eliminate the pictures, the clothes, the letters, cards and anything else that triggers past emotions. De-friend the person on Facebook and resist the urge of going on friends' accounts to take a peek. Self-control is key. By detaching yourself from those feelings, you are opening yourself up to new opportunities.
Step Two: Create your own closure. You may not need closure with the actual person as much as you need closure with the feelings you had toward that person. Get out your laptop or a paper and pen and write a letter to them, expressing everything you could think of saying, good and bad. Be completely honest and true by writing based on your feelings, and not your thoughts. Finally, put it in an envelope, and do nothing with it. The point of the letter is not for the other person; it's for you to finally be honest and truthful with how you feel and release it. Through this self-reflection, you are developing the most significant relationship you will ever have--which is the one you have with yourself.
Step Three: The rebound relationship. They say the best way to get over someone is to be with someone else. However, rebound relationships are only a temporary fix. So why don't we consider getting into a rebound relationship with ourselves? This way, you will always have a strong long lasting relationship to rely on. The relationship with yourself is the only permanent relationship you will ever have. Look forward to getting to know yourself. If you are currently in a relationship with another person, make sure you focus on yourself as much on your partner and that any defining parts that make you 'you' have not changed or faded. Take this day to focus on those things that have taken a back seat since you have been in your new relationship.
Remember, you always have your friends!. Relying on them is good, but only to a certain extent. When you start making them feel like they are in the break-up too, you have pushed it too far. Your friends love you, but they don't need to take on your problems as their own. If you're not careful, you could push them away. Only time will heal old wounds and feelings, and it's important to let yourself feel them, but not focus on them. The reality is if you are not able to make yourself happy, then no one else will be able to.
If thoughts of an ex have ever filled your mind when anyone mentions the "V" word, you need to participate in this day. If you're still living in the past, that is exactly where you will stay. There is a whole world waiting for you out there, so catch up and move forward.
Don't go digging through the trashcan regretfully for that old sweatshirt. Focus on things and people that make you happy. Celebrate love this Valentine's day, whether it is love for you, love for your dog, love for family, or love for a significant other. There is a light that brings you forward and it comes from within you, embrace it.
[Steps to National Get-Over-You-Ex Day Recap]
2. Create your own closure
3. Enter a rebound relationship, with yourself
4. Have fun with friends
5. Fall in love
6. Enjoy Valentine's Day
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